Bless this MESS

Somehow, somewhere, we got the idea that our child's social development was going to look like the steady climb on the left.

But the reality of

hot and cold friendships

exclusion from friend group

sudden changes in mood

weekends with no plans

SPRING BREAK(downs)

gossiping and turning on one another

lunchroom sagas

ditching old friends for new

is MESSY.

And adolescent friendships are messy.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.

It's thru the mess of middle school and into high school that the social emotional skills are developed. And last I checked, growth doesn't happen inside a bubble.

It happens in the image on the right.

Your daughter is not lacking in confidence or friendships.

She's working her way toward them.

And it's not a STEADY climb.

It's a messy one.

Remember: the goal isn't to make her world less messy. The goal is for YOU to sit beside her in the mess and let her know she's got this.

Because she does. She really does.

Do you?

This is a tall order for moms who only want the best for their kids, and who want to protect them from getting hurt.

It makes sense that our instinct would be to jump in, fix and clean up the mess, for everyone.

And, as much as we love our own parents and caregivers, chances are their approach was too hands off, or too overly involved in our adolescent struggles.

We're trying to do things differently than our parents, right? Or is it that we're turning into them??? Oh geez Louise.

So here we are. In a mess, feeling a mess and just...wanting it all to be better but not sure what we're doing is right or good or helpful. Because if it was working, why the heck do we keep finding ourselves here again?

I'm with you.

I think in addition to considering the difference between what we thought our teen's social lives would look like vs. what they really feel like, perhaps a chat with your favorite life coach is in order.

I'm really good with messes.

This is your daily reminder that you got this and I got you.